Day 32: Strike a pose
Corona or no corona I have decided that in these peculiar days it
is far too easy to let standards drop. Never mind dancing like no-one's
watching, we're now dressing like it too. Just one look at my hair is enough to
scare me witless so as spring bursts into bloom and lockdown rolls on I have
decided to embrace the positive side of Corona-driven fashion norms. This blog
is predominantly for women so apologies to any gentlemen who feel that their
fashionista style has been ignored. I have however suggested a couple of things
and if in doubt you could always just keep growing the beard and fashion it
into a nice belt when it's long enough.
Buying swimwear
Last year’s swimwear was awful, so you must buy new, except
three weeks of binge-drinking, eating and watching TV has taken its toll. Not
even tummy-control bikini bottoms will save us this year.
Lightweight two-season dressing gown
Wave goodbye to frumpy, outdated towelling robes and slip on a
lightweight number that will, as has become tradition, be worn for 16 hours
every day and only be removed for Zoom calls and showers.
Two-tier fashion
Talking of Zoom calls, we are no
doubt witnessing a fashion revolution whereby the smart-casual formula now
entails a very literal style of two halves. Haute
couture from shoulders flowing into something not even the charity shops would
take from the waist down. Can't wait to see the Corona-combis hitting
the Milan catwalks next year.
Masks
No longer the preserve of Halloween, what’s not to love about
this fabulous new trend in facial accessories? It means you don’t have to talk
to people, wear make-up below the nose, or smile half-heartedly at people you’d
rather not acknowledge. And of course, as shown by this enterprising mother
from Lebanon, masks can be fashioned out of absolutely anything these days.
Half-cup
bra facemask
Haven’t got a facemask (or a cabbage)? Simply cut an old bra in
two and use one cup to cover, and offer support to, the lower half of your face.
Perfect for two-metre distant flirtation in the Waitrose queue (although watch
the underwire doesn't give you unexpected orthodontic work).
Shorts
Early lockdown was the era of jeggings and leggings but with
sunshine comes the opportunity to get your knees out in some bizarre old
football shorts that you honestly couldn’t cite the provenance of if your life
depended on it. Works equally well for men and women.
Socks – for men
Wear your socks for five days minimum. A lockdown fashion staple
that’s going nowhere between seasons. Because, really, who is changing their
socks every day right now?
Socks – for ladies
I saw this in the paper the other day. If you have long hair – well
let’s face it we’ll all have long hair by the time this is over - then after
washing your hair you section it off and wrap each section round and round a
sock and tie together. Then you go to bed and supposedly (although I am not
convinced and haven’t tried it yet), you unwrap your strands to find wonderful
floating curls. As I said not convinced but with nothing else to do it's surely
worth a try?
Sunburn
Being trapped inside gifts us all a year off ice-packs and
after-sun. Sunburn will only be available to those who pass out in the garden
after too many G and Ts, which will be at least 40 per cent of us by June.
Hats
The sun forces the best of us into headwear we would never
normally consider. But no panamas or straw boaters this year. Sit indoors and
eat ice-cream hatless and unashamed.
Fancy dress
As Mary Poppins
once said, "In every job there is to be done, there's an element of
fun". The Australians are taking this to heart and apparently donning
fancy dress to take their bins out. Why stop there though? We should have
Government-mandated themed costumes for different chores. In fact the only
reason I still haven't done my windows is that the Wonder Woman costume is
still en route.
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