Day 28: The great outdoors 

Camping, whatever anyone tells you, is not fun and can only be classed as a holiday or mini break if your house is worse than a tent. What I was hoping for on my mini break was a yurt that has a proper loo, a power shower and a free-standing bath. I didn’t need an aga, foot spa or cleaner as I was only going to be there for the weekend but what I most definitely required was somewhere warm and comfortable. The tent left over from the daughter’s guiding camp jaunts when she was young was all I had, and it had clearly seen better days. Still as I am an over 70 resolute and indefatigable, I was not about to be fazed by insignificant problems and I started to erect the tent. It only had a small hole in the roof but as there was no rain forecast, I couldn’t see it being a problem. After all, I wanted to merely experience the ‘simple things in life’ it could have been a little adventure amidst all this gloom and despondency. However when I started to cook my supper of beans in a pan over the equivalent of a candle and it started to get dark I likened my situation to one of those refugee camps in Syria and realised the horrendous impracticality of the whole endeavour and could only liken it to living inside what is essentially a plastic bag. I therefore retired to the living room indoors at 7.30 on the first evening and here I have been ever since feeling incredibly clever that I had decided to stay in a warm house watching television. In truth my house now felt like the Savoy apart from the filthy windows of course which I really will get round to this week.

Thank you all for your very good wishes on my birthday yesterday. The day dawned bright and sunny with some friends singing happy birthday to me outside my sitting room window. My next door neighbour giving an incredibly loud rendition of the same tune from her kitchen and Silver Streak called with a card and a very welcome bottle of wine. She keeps telling me that I am calling her by the wrong name and that she signed her comments previously as Silver Dream Machine – this is evidently because she once met and spoke to David Essex – I think this whole incarceration thing is getting to her!! I also received many calls and texts from people sending me good wishes but who are using lock down as an excuse for not buying a card and avoiding the expense of a stamp. I do understand people I really do.

My wine racks are becoming really empty now so I think somebody must be sneaking in at night and drinking it. Good news though as the supermarkets have lifted their restrictions on the amount you can buy and therefore fully acknowledged what the word essential means – see previous explanations. Common sense has returned, we may even be able to find flour sometime soon as well; and finally probably the best birthday present I have ever had - I managed to book a Click and Collect slot at Tesco this coming Friday – still locked out of my Sainsbury account Mike if you’re reading this by the way - only problem is it’s in Edinburgh.

Still it’ll be a day out!!

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