Day 76: Over and out

Day 30: Lessons learned

In the days Before Corona, Easter holidays were eagerly looked forward to by children and parents alike as a timely respite from the rigors of normal life. Copious chocolate for breakfast? Cheeky ski-ing holiday?  Liberally granted leave 'because the kids are off'? Don't mind if I do.  How we took those days for granted.  

This year, chocolate is officially one of the core food groups, leaving the house let alone the country feels like embarking on Frodo's trip to Mordor, and parents are now tearing themselves into pieces trying to manage childminding and teaching while holding down a full time job.  In practice, the Easter holidays are not a holiday at all, rather they have just added an additional pressure of juggling all the above while 'being fun'.  

Creative ideas were exhausted by the end of March. Not to mention the key ingredients (egg boxes, loo rolls, fairy up liquid bottles) are all now scarcer commodities than gold, so there's no way they can be thrown willy nilly onto the altar of DIY crafting.  It's now about turning feral children loose in the garden in a desperate attempt to cling to grown up sanity. 

Not convinced of the merits of DIY teaching, I'm also sure it's driving huge generational wedges between different families. For some of us, consulting old episodes of Grange Hill on YouTube is the most useful frame of reference. Although I’m sure that the 1970s drama will provide children with all the knowledge they need to succeed in life. Core GCSE subjects like Maths, History, English, Biology just did not crop up on the show. It would however provide a comprehensive guide to raising a new generation of socially aware, anti bullying, anti racisim and anti drugs youths.  Til they ask why mummy's cracking open the pinot at 9am. Just Say No Mummy. 

By now most secondary school children meanwhile will have realised that they are more intelligent and better educated than their clueless parents who cannot do simple maths, have read nothing, and think that Hitler was the baddie in both World Wars. They think that algebra is wrong because you ‘can’t add letters’ and can’t get it into their heads that Isaac Newton wasn’t Italian, and obviously neither of them can spell. When the children mention Emily Bronte their parents smile knowingly although they haven’t actually read anything by her they have just heard of the Kate Bush song!

Donald Trump was obviously home schooled as yesterday he reportedly likened himself to Captain Bligh, who he clearly thinks was the good guy in Mutiny on the Bounty – bit of advice perhaps, read the book again Donald, although I think he only watched the film. I rest my case about home schooling.

Anyway, the Easter ‘holidays’ are over so now at last these bored younger people will hopefully leave we oldies alone and stop making us rainbows to put in our windows. We can get our exercise walking down the middle of the street because there’s no-one to stop us. We can buy our groceries at 7am and if anyone comes close, we’re allowed to hit them with our sticks or Zimmer frames – we are fine so please leave us alone!! The next person who disturbs me I’m calling the police.

Had a bit of a scare the other evening. I was sweating profusely and feeling most strange even though all the windows were open.  I couldn’t help but think that I had caught the corona but fortunately the husband was on hand to help and when he looked at the thermostat it was set to 30 degrees - normality, such as it is at the moment, is restored!