Day 16: Tesco and tribulations

Today I ventured to the shops for my ‘old and vulnerable day’ or ‘silver hour’ as some are calling it – certainly not me. I am NOT silver! I arrived in plenty of time to find predominantly aged people queuing all around the car park. Clearly, hearing about the ‘silver hour’ for older shoppers on the wireless has caused a bit of a flap amongst the older-than-me sector of society who think they must go shopping at Tesco’s every day at 9am sharp and at other times will be turned away. For the record, ‘silver hour’ does not mean you can only go then, you will be allowed in at other times so please try it (thereby making it far easier for the non-silver oldies of us to whizz round and get the job done).

In all fairness the queue wasn’t as long as I had imagined it would be as we were all spaced out to our mandatory 6 feet apart, snaked around the whole car park. It was however a lovely morning – goodness knows what happens when it rains there will be riots, take it from me.  Or rather, spearheaded by me. I am not getting what’s left of my hair wet, it needs all the help it can get!!  On the dot of 9 we all sped up and were sent right if we were old and left if we weren’t and told to wait like naughty school children until the oldies had got into the store. I was sent to the naughty school children line so I then had to inform the shop assistant that I was indeed a pensioner even though I didn’t look it and that I had spent the whole morning so far applying Polyfilla as it was probably the best foundation I have ever invested in. She eventually believed me and I was allowed in – flattering but inconvenient. We only have an hour after all!!

The first thing to greet me in the store was mountain upon mountain of loo rolls and like spoilt children every single one of us thought aha – there’s plenty so I don’t want any now. Caught a cold there Tesco didn’t you?!! They’ll all be BOGOF next week, so I’ll wait. All was going well until I realised who my fellow shoppers were... Men. Elderly Men. With lists and a stumpy bit of pencil.  Even so, how difficult can it be? Apparently incredibly so if you forget your glasses. As I had my specs with me, I was repeatedly asked to read their lists for them. Now, my glasses are for reading close up but they were all a minimum of 6 feet away. Coupled with their  hearing aids we invented possibly the worst ever game of Chinese Whispers in the history of mankind.  Goodness only knows what they took home. "I can't see" "BEANS?" "No, it's too far to see" "PARSLEY?" "Oh do go away" "AHHH VANISH!". Next week: Charades.



It transpires that taste and smell are now the first symptoms of the Corona and not a cough, so I decided to get ahead of the game and buy 400 cloves of garlic before there’s a rush. In fact I popped some in the Husband’s porridge this morning as I figured that as long as I can smell him then I'm alive. Should I worry he didn't notice? At least he's not a vampire.  I shall therefore cook with it every day – garlic could become the new Chanel No 5!



I also heard today - very worryingly for Cornish Maid and Silver Streak (brace yourselves) - that gin distillers in the UK are now making hand sanitisers. What an incredible waste of gin!!  Although a validation of my own alchohol-based preventative measures. Can we drink it if we run out of the good stuff?



Finally, in answer to your question about windows ‘77 & counting’ - NO!!

Comments

  1. I am not going to take you to task about not cleaning the windows even if I have done the downstairs ones.
    For the last few days I have been going to clear out what I call the drawer of “ I might need that!” Needless to say I have very rarely needed anything from it.
    I have occupied myself with more enjoyable things like preparing the house with my Easter Sophisticated Tat.
    The Easter Bunny is sitting in the hall, I can say “ Hello “each time I pass, this increases the amount of conversations I can have.
    Next will be the joy of decorating my Easter Tree. As I have been the only one of my friends to have an Easter Tree it has been much admired.
    I will have to send Cornish Maid a photo this year, I would hate her to miss out on seeing it in all its glory.
    To avoid disappointment I bought all the families Easter Eggs early however, I am unable to deliver them.
    I always buy some small chocolate eggs to go around the Easter Tree. Unfortunately I have eaten some of them, this was on a day when I promised to have an alcohol free day.
    I don’t feel quite as bad as one of my friends who said that she has eaten all the Eggs bought for her Grandchildren, she is now sending them money to buy their own.
    I do wish she had not planted that idea in my head!
    Stay safe and take care.

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