Eat, Drink, Laugh and Wash your hands: a guide to dealing with a global pandemic at 70

Things are changing and hopefully for the better and we are slowly being released back into the wild. This means more rules to grapple with. Weeks of research have concluded that parks and gardens are actually pretty similar. So friends’ gardens are no longer off limits, but their houses are. Say what you will but I see the logic: we’ve had 10 weeks without our cleaners and husbands with nothing to do but mow the lawn. Houses can be used as the route to the garden, or to pop to the loo (although not in Scotland where garden party toilet breaks are still verboten – it’s one way to keep visits short I suppose).   Up to 6 families can now gather, so long as each stays 2m apart. I must have missed the part where we all got given bigger gardens (or roof terraces if you please!). No mention either of how we get the wine from the fridge to the garden I noted. I blame a Tory government, they must assume people’s butlers will have everything in hand. As I have mentioned previously

The news during the middle of last week indicated that rather than try and go to work as they had been advised to do most of the people in Britain decided as true Brits do to take the day off when the sun is shining. The pictures in the papers indicated that half the country had flocked to the coast or the countryside.  So what will this bank holiday Monday bring I thought. Surely on a sunny day like today, with everyone off and lockdown rules relaxed in a vague, interpret-to-suit-yourself way, there won’t be hundreds of people heading to the parks like there always are? There are? So why not head off to one of Britain’s corona hotspots? There’s no better way to expose yourself to a virus than stripping near-nude and sitting in close proximity to other hot, sweating people exhaling lovely infectious clouds of droplets, but do remember to keep wiping your brow!  There’s absolutely loads of the Lake District or the New Forest and in theory enough room for many thousands to roam

Dutch-born Londoner Annemarie Plas   who   is credited with starting the nationwide applause , of the weekly “clap for carers” has said that next Thursday’s show of support should be the last and I for one totally agree with her.  It is of course to be welcomed that key workers, including those for the NHS and social care, are being increasingly valued and most appreciate the clapping, saying that they feel moved and grateful. I for one am pushing for proper recognition of their efforts. However, I have noticed that this weekly event has become a little lack-lustre of late so before it fizzles to nothing Ms Plas is quite right in saying it should ‘end on a high’. I don’t know about your neighbourhood but certainly in my road  several weeks ago when it all started, we were all out smiling at each other and clapping enthusiastically. The following week was even better with pots and pans and the husband even dragged out an old metal dustbin lid to hit. As time has moved on, a well-me

It's becoming increasingly difficult to write about people, their actions, reactions and distractions and I’m finding that each day is a matter of finding things to do that didn’t need doing. I have rearranged the kitchen cupboards, and taken all the clothes out of wardrobes to ‘check for moths’. There were no moths. There have never been any moths in 40 years of living here. The moths are a lie. The husband is continually oiling some garden shears he hasn’t used in 15 years and ‘checking’ the garden hose. He’s bled a radiator which was working fine, soaked a load of brand new mugs in bleach and done a detailed inspection of all the bath towels then put them all back again. However in my defence I do think that it was absolutely necessary to remove and check all the light bulbs. There’s nothing more dangerous than a loose light bulb. Anyway I started thinking about efforts made by people over the lockdown and obviously the first that came to mind was Captain Tom who has b

Everybody seems to be running the country at the moment and they all have their own solutions to the problems raised by the current pandemic. Conservatives, Labour, Scientists, Medical experts and Uncle Tom Cobley and all. Well quite honestly they need me – yes I can sort out one problem that has been highlighted this week and very simply too. We over 70s are a resilient bunch of people despite the fact that we are reportedly dropping dead all over the place. A local resident sent round an e mail asking people in his street if they could be of help in case some of the older neighbours may be too nervous to go to the shops. Within an hour he had 25 volunteers...all over 70. A case in point. Sadly however according to Age UK, stress and anxiety are fuelling cases of malnutrition in elderly people who have restricted access to shopping. Not through lack of money but those who are terrified to go out. They are confused by guidance (aren’t we all?) and their regular support networks ha

Today is the day of freedom for some and back to work for those who can. The highlight in our household though is the return of golf. Not for me of course but for the Husband. This means that all household chores, garden clearing, sorting and tidying that he has been doing for weeks has now come to an abrupt end. It only took him about 4 hours to book a tee-time for today so he is finally appreciating what I have been going through all day every day trying to get slots at supermarkets. Of course like supermarkets the golf courses are now chock-a-block as everyone is rushing out to play. His course is probably busier than London Underground today. My lovely neighbour (he of the prison background) has not been able to get a slot for golf today so is sulking at home I believe and probably downing copious glasses of his wine and Domestos cocktail, much to the despair of his long suffering wife! Although at least we’re not having to deal with the dilemma of the course that straddles the E